Your Source For Success In Life and In Business

The Love vs. Fear Philosophy

When you read The Course In Miracles, you find that one of the basic tenets it teaches is a concept that can be referred to as The Love vs. Fear Philosophy. From a fundamental standpoint, it explains that when someone is interacting with you, it is either out of love or fear. All emotions toward you from another individual, positive or negative, are, because they are either interacting with you in a positive way from a love perspective (not romantic love, but love from a brotherly approach), or their negative interaction toward you is based in fear. And, when I say fear, I mean any type of anger or personal or professional attack toward you, reporting you to others who may be in authority….whatever is negative….is because that person is afraid of something.

Have you ever had an experience in which a customer called you after they made a purchase from your business, and, due to whatever situation, they were angry, maybe even threatening toward you? …..(“I’m calling the Better Business Bureau and reporting you!…I’ll see that they put you out of  business!”) …..or something along that ridiculous line of conversation.

Well, like I said, they’re afraid of something.

As far as what that something could be, well, that can be difficult to nail down. It could be something in regard to the business transaction; the perspective of a loss of the money they paid for the product or service they purchased from you. It could be the fear that they are being cheated in some way, or that they will experience a loss of business revenue overall. It could be simple situation, but then it could also be a more complex one, relating to things like not being respected or other personal issues. Whatever it is, it’s fear.

Since I write for a few magazines, I sometimes am subject to negativity from others. In a recent email I received, the person wrote, in part:

“How in the Hell does _______ magazine continue to allow your crap articles and how the hell do you stay in business as a so called training resource for our industry?”

This particular email contained much more information. It filled a printed page in small type. Other attacks from this individual suggested that I should have consulted with others before writing what I did ( he obviously didn’t know that I had done that), and another interesting factor about this email is that while it was addressed to my email address, it was also cc’d to several other people, people who could be perceived as someone who could fire me or make trouble for me. Of course, when somebody sends you an email, then “copies” it to others they perceive to be in authority, it’s obvious that the email isn’t actually be sent to you. It’s really being sent to the others.

When you consider my example above, it’s obvious where this person is coming from. He certainly wasn’t coming from a positive aspect. Which means that upon receiving it, I had to ask myself…..What is this person afraid of? Of course, I couldn’t answer that question because I’m not him, and I’m sure that asking him would not provide an answer. But, getting the answer is not the objective when you ask this question. It’s only asked so you’ll be reminded that even though you might be offended by an undeserved attack from someone that upsets you, or even makes you angry, asking the question gives you an opportunity to and get past it quickly. It also gives you time to take a beat and not hurry into a confrontation, or firing back an angry email in response, being sure to “copy” the others who were “copied” in the original correspondence.

In this case, asking the question led to my referring the situation to the person who originally provided me with the information for the article, and he went ahead and sent an email to this person, and, of course, copied me as a courtesy. The response he received from this fearful individual was almost respectful, while at the same time the person’s reply was an effort to squeeze out of the situation he now found himself in. After providing an almost apology, he also wrote: “I would also wager that your original article was probably edited and condensed and may have lost some of its initial intention”.

Of course, it hadn’t been edited to the point where the original intent was lost, however, reading that reply, I had to ask myself again…”What is this person afraid of?”

This time, asking allowed me to avoid getting in on the discussion, making sure that I noted that the information was clarified both before publication, and after the original email showed up in my inbox.

Sure, it’s human nature to want to push back when this kind of thing happens to us. It’s natural that we would rather have that person know just how wrong they are….it would give us so much satisfaction to know that we, at least provided the right information, even though we are pretty sure that it would likely be ignored or denied for some other trumped up reason.

But….all that takes time….time spent wallowing in the same negativity and fear that was heaped upon you, simply because somebody is harboring some fear that you, no matter what you could do, will be able to allay.

And wallowing in negativity is diametrically opposed to maintaining a prosperity consciousness.

As this new year begins, remember the abundance that is always there for us, waiting only for us to be open to receive it and experience a prosperous life, no matter what might come our way. Ask the simple question about love or fear. It will always bring you quickly and simply to the truth.

Learn From Yesterday….Live For Today…..Look Forward To Tomorrow

Jim